DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize