It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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