Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
