Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
