I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
