I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
