I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
