Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
