tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
