She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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