I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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