he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
