Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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