If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
