Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
