I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize