Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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