You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
