are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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