Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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