erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
