omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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