Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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