Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
