Swine flu. Run for my life!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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