I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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