my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
if only i could text you this smell
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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