Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
