Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
They have beer where we have blood.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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