at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
