Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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