dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
