Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
