Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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