I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
