hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
