I only kidnapped one of them. chill
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
