She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
