You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
