you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
