i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
