Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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