Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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