Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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