If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize