Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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