this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
