i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
