i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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