So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
