I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
