Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
