Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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