so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
