so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
