I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She told me I should be a condom model.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
