i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
