U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I think I just sharted jello shots
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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