Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
